Single Singapore man struggling to survive in Singapore
Posted by temasektimes on August 21, 2012
I don’t dispute that I can live decently on little. I have done so and that is because I am single bit I have become rather anti social as I m unable to join my frens for outings as I can’t even afford it. How then to network for my real estate job when I can’t even join frens for drinks?
I have to politely decline giving all kinds of excuse but that’s ok. But if u have wives or kids whose friends living it up, wouldn’t u feel like u have failed them somehow how especially of they come up and ask for something like an iPad that everyone in school has. Even with no kids I can understand that of I am a parent and husband I want to ensure that my family has some creature comforts. Wives are adults so they too know how to answer. But kids can be victims of cruel kids who’d laugh at them for being poor.
As a parent I would want to ensure I protects child from such potential exposures. I can’t even afford an iPad for work and colleagues and managers have insensitively told me to get one cos it is more professional and now customers expect us to have one. Or they tell me to get with the times and be IT savvy and also said that is perhaps one reason I am not doing well cos I don’t have an iPad. I now simply tell them I have no money and do u think they’d feel bad n shut up. NO! They feel I m making them feel bad and stupid and I get told off more for not being serious about my work and not prioritizing my expenses. If I as an adult am facing such insensitivitiea imagine a child.
As a son, I want to give a comfortable life for my parents. While they don’t say anything I know they feel sad that my life is rough. Everyday they tell me they pray to God to help me with my business. I fell like I have let them down. When they were younger and working, they could raise me and take care of my grand parents now locals r not only getting retrenched but govt is going on a campaign to say that FTs r better than locals. How to find work?
My job is like being self employed and my working capital is very high. I have to weigh the pros and cons to throw a newspaper ad for a unit I am marketing and putting food on the table. Although an ad does not cost much, I can at least feeds self and family for a couple of days. The house is falling into disrepair and neighbors are saying that I m unfilial for letting my parents live in such conditions. One neighbour even lectured me on filial piety. Doesn’t anybody know that I know what filial piety is?
As much as I hurt inside, I have to smile and bear it. It is the Chinese neighbours that the most nasty about making feel bad about this. I fear my parents falling sick and I can’t even pay for their hospital bills or worse, if they pass on, I won’t be able to give them a decent funeral. Imagine how terrible I feel already without anyone else giving me added pressures. Every night I pray to God to give my parents good health and long life. I work very hard and just m not making the money.
I am sad that I m not married because I don’t think I can afford to and I don’t want my in laws to feel that I am not taking care of their daughter. Which parent want to see their child live in misery. I have a colleague who is recently married and he pretends he has a full time job and goes out to ‘work’ everyday. His wife has to lie to her parents that my colleague has a full time job. When they found out they were unsympathetic and added stress on the marriage by saying insensitive remarks that his wife should have married the other guy who has lots of money and live in a landed house. This makes my colleague go into depression. We all try to live life within our means but many don’t live our lives just for ourselves. We are sons and fathers and husbands and we all live our live for someone whether we like it or not.
*The above was first posted as a comment on The Temasek Times.