News and views from an unique perspective

Single Singapore man struggling to survive in Singapore

Posted by temasektimes on August 21, 2012

I don’t dispute that I can live decently on little. I have done so and that is because I am single bit I have become rather anti social as I m unable to join my frens for outings as I can’t even afford it. How then to network for my real estate job when I can’t even join frens for drinks?

I have to politely decline giving all kinds of excuse but that’s ok. But if u have wives or kids whose friends living it up, wouldn’t u feel like u have failed them somehow how especially of they come up and ask for something like an iPad that everyone in school has. Even with no kids I can understand that of I am a parent and husband I want to ensure that my family has some creature comforts. Wives are adults so they too know how to answer. But kids can be victims of cruel kids who’d laugh at them for being poor.

As a parent I would want to ensure I protects child from such potential exposures. I can’t even afford an iPad for work and colleagues and managers have insensitively told me to get one cos it is more professional and now customers expect us to have one. Or they tell me to get with the times and be IT savvy and also said that is perhaps one reason I am not doing well cos I don’t have an iPad. I now simply tell them I have no money and do u think they’d feel bad n shut up. NO! They feel I m making them feel bad and stupid and I get told off more for not being serious about my work and not prioritizing my expenses. If I as an adult am facing such insensitivitiea imagine a child.

As a son, I want to give a comfortable life for my parents. While they don’t say anything I know they feel sad that my life is rough. Everyday they tell me they pray to God to help me with my business. I fell like I have let them down. When they were younger and working, they could raise me and take care of my grand parents now locals r not only getting retrenched but govt is going on a campaign to say that FTs r better than locals. How to find work?

My job is like being self employed and my working capital is very high. I have to weigh the pros and cons to throw a newspaper ad for a unit I am marketing and putting food on the table. Although an ad does not cost much, I can at least feeds self and family for a couple of days. The house is falling into disrepair and neighbors are saying that I m unfilial for letting my parents live in such conditions. One neighbour even lectured me on filial piety. Doesn’t anybody know that I know what filial piety is?

As much as I hurt inside, I have to smile and bear it. It is the Chinese neighbours that the most nasty about making feel bad about this. I fear my parents falling sick and I can’t even pay for their hospital bills or worse, if they pass on, I won’t be able to give them a decent funeral. Imagine how terrible I feel already without anyone else giving me added pressures. Every night I pray to God to give my parents good health and long life. I work very hard and just m not making the money.

I am sad that I m not married because I don’t think I can afford to and I don’t want my in laws to feel that I am not taking care of their daughter. Which parent want to see their child live in misery. I have a colleague who is recently married and he pretends he has a full time job and goes out to ‘work’ everyday. His wife has to lie to her parents that my colleague has a full time job. When they found out they were unsympathetic and added stress on the marriage by saying insensitive remarks that his wife should have married the other guy who has lots of money and live in a landed house. This makes my colleague go into depression. We all try to live life within our means but many don’t live our lives just for ourselves. We are sons and fathers and husbands and we all live our live for someone whether we like it or not.


*The above was first posted as a comment on The Temasek Times. 


53 Responses to “Single Singapore man struggling to survive in Singapore”

  1. Trent said

    The amount of gramatical errors in this post.. IS TOO DAMN HIGH. Wouldn’t be surprised if it was conjured up in the basement of TT itself.

  2. hihihi said

    The writer has yet to come to understand that this and any society has no place for failures…

    • G said

      Wow, why don’t u tell those who are handicepped in some way, have learning disbilities, are overweight, single, senile, elderly etc to go kill themselves since they all can be seen as failures in one way or another? Everyone fails and makes mistakes, it’s called being human, which you obviously aren’t.

      • Gary said

        Hihihi is right dude, society has never had a place for failures. The world is a cruel place. There are always second chances, but you have to earn it, the author sounds like he is just feeling sorry for himself.

  3. Sinkaypoh said

    I feel for you, being in the same line of work. Perhaps we can work together sometime? I don’t much need ipad, although it would be nice, as after that to maximize it you probably need to pay another $800 or so to get the special listing service. I also specialize in a niche market, I guess you just compete in HDBs or condos with the rest of them?

    • AD80 said

      Wah like dat also can do recruitment??POWER!!

    • Sinkaypoh, Bravo! so proud of you! Show the rest of Singapore what patriotisma and national pride is. Don;t let the FTs teach us what is the meaning of patriotism and national pride. They come to our country get a job in a company and they only hire their own people or they pay locals cheap and give their countrymen a better salary package. No where in the world do citizens of a country treat their own kind badly except in Singapore! Singaporeans, wake up! And i just don’t get it! Why condemn the govt for the very sames transgressions that we are committing? We say the govt don’t care for the people and condemn them. yet, here in this very forum we have Singaporeans with little or no compassion for their fellow Singaporeans. The FTs say we are whiners, but we are not belligerent trouble makers! See how in their country when they don’t agree with the govt, violence erupts and even murders happen. Their economy can grind to an abrupt halt causing major damages to businesses.

      • Sinkaypoh said

        We have to support each other. So many “clients” are just time wasters, CEA is not taking care of us, only waiting to whack us, no benefits, sick must pay from own pocket, etc etc. Not complaining, but those sinkie office workers should thank us for not competing against them for the scarce “9-5” jobs sitting in aircond office while we run around in the sun. If I want to compete, some sinkie or FT will lose his/her job.

  4. Smart said

    There is nothing wrong with Singapore or your line of work. May be this line of work is not right for you. People don’t succeed because they are put in a perfect country nor the land with the best profession. There is no such thing as the best place to work to make it in life or the best job in the work that any one will succeed regardless.

    The question is not what is the best job but rather what can you excel and do best in. If you are good at selling real estate, then you can make millions, but if you are so lousy at it its time to change your line of work or you need to buck up, relook at you mistakes! Work HARD and work SMART! stop coming up with excuses, and start finding solutions to your own problems. I see in you a lack of will rather than a lack of opportunity. Please don’t expect hand outs here. that will not happen. You need to fight for your deals.

  5. AD80 said

    Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.What others have not necessary you must have too!
    Yes in real estate line we must mingle and networking but also must be within your means.
    You think most of them are rich??Pls lah many of them are in debt with credit cards too!As ppl say WAYANG only!!

    No matter what focus on what you want to do in life n career.Most important take care of yourself first and your family. The rest will come in place when you are more stable.
    No Rush…to get married!You are not missing anything!!

  6. Singaporean said

    there’s only one thing left to do and no its not to vote wisely for the next GE or embrace the ‘you die your business’ concept

  7. June said

    Dont start the finger pointing.Life is tough, but not just for U.

  8. RX said

    1. How long have you been in real estate? You don’t just become a success overnight or in a short period of time.

    2. Or perhaps you should be looking at another type of career. If this is not working out, try other things. Keep trying, until you find one that is suitable.

  9. Mee said

    You are not alone. There are many others like you including myself.

  10. Walter said

    Live within your means.. That’s the most important thing. Forget what others are saying. You can be successful in many ways using your skills and talent. You don’t need an iPad to work. What if you have, does it makes the twice or 5 times amount? Living in Singapore is tough especially with the rapid high cost of living and not earning enough for yourself. Can understand. What’s most important is, be true to yourself and you should consider yourself lucky living within your means. So, use your talent and skill, and that will you a better person to see things better. No amount of money can buy happiness, except yourself.

  11. Ciaokk said

    Arang guni man got a family lei.
    Stay in bungalow also.
    Reports in the newspaper.
    U may want to be a garang guni man.

  12. Singapuraboi said

    To Smart On it is people like u that is no wonder all the jobs r going to foreigners. When u see a fellow citizen down u not only don’t offer any sympathy and understanding, u down trod on them further. When a local needs a job, u’d probably think that they r trying to fleece u. U speculate and get all presumptuous about the locals’ attitude and intention and u this give the job to an FT. Learn from the FTs here who once get a foothold into a company and they start hiring their own kind. That’s patriotism and national pride. Singaporeans will never give another Singaporean a leg up anywhere in the world. U are very pathetic person living with such cynicism. U’d probably think that when ur wife asks u for sex, she is a fox spirit trying to suck ur essence up. U just like the ruling party who are skeptical and belligerent and only take it out on ur fellow Singaporeans. U ought to feel ashamed of urself for saying such things here and where in the article was there a request for handouts? U obviously have poor English comprehension skills. People like you should have ur citizenship revoked and made stateless for what u said. Be like Singkaypoh who at least extends some warmth, understanding and compassion. No one is asking for handouts here where did u get that idea. We have all have our challenges and that article is written in response to Fahren’s idealistic article about how we can live within our means and be happy. Ask any person living in a rental Hdb unit is they r truly happy. They may be used to the rough life but their fears much deeper than urs. Imagine not being able to pay for healthcare for ur kids and parents or not even being able to afford a decent funeral for them. U heartless Jerk! Is anyone asking u to help them here. U sound like the type who’d probably stuff ur dead parent or child down the bloody rubbish chute if u could.

    • Cheong said

      Hi Singapuraboi, I see you are the type of people who doesn’t take criticism well. Smart was kind enough to give you a constructive suggestion but instead of listening, you totally misunderstood the suggestion and take it as some sort of personal attack and even went on to attack his character. This is not cool. Like you say, as a singaporean, we should help each other out. For your case, I do agree with smart, if things are not working out, you should seriously rethink your career choice. Everyone has their limitation, why are you so afraid to know them, why do you keep banging your head against the wall, when there are other doors you can enter from?

      Do not blindly blame everyone for everything that has happen to you, take some responsibility, people will respect you for it, and i seriously hope for the best for you. Because like you, we are all struggling to survive in this society.

      • really? said

        I wouldn’t say Smart was ‘kind’. He was being judgmental at best. He doesn’t even know Singapuraboi or his family and he accused SB of having a lack of will?

        If that’s being kind to you, then I don’t want to know how you are like when you are nasty.

      • Singapuraboi said

        U guys go on ur bloody wagon and criticise with no compassion and u have the audacity to get preachy. Another one who has poor comprehension skills here. The article is a sharing of a legitimate fear and not a an appeal for any handouts. So dont worry not leeching on u. Am not the only one with such concerns. Yet I get reponses like I should stop blaming others for my plight and I should work smart? Get off ur ivory tower and dare u to tell the many engineers who reach the age of 40s and getting retrenched so that the company cam hire more FTs that they r not working smart and that the job is not suitable for them. I think many of them want to drive taxis? So what is Smart On really saying then. U go live in a foreign countries and see if any govt would give foreigners sucks boosts that we r giving to the foreigners here. U can hold ur breath and really hope to die cos it never happens. And can u explain why scores of jobs go to foreigners and th govt had to justify their actions vehemently? Cos the truth is OT that the locals are fussy it is just that locals r not priority. The recent part time work drive is one good expel of insincere assistance programme. The same restaurants can hire FTs full time but yet our people have to work part time. It is just another way of saying lets give the full time work to the foreigners. U don’t have to help but at least have some compassion. Drop that bloody Marie Antoinette “let them eat cake” attitude. See what happened to her? She can’t understand why the poor French people r complaining about food so she uttered that ignorant and arrogant phrase that riled up the entire nation. U and Smart On r Marie Antoinettes.

      • Cheong said

        So you fail in life and people offer you some legitimate advice, yet you get offended when that advice is not some thing you would like to hear. You go on to blame everyone who are also struggling the same as you. Poor comprehension skill? You must be joking. Sure go ahead and be your real estate agent. Maybe I’ll try to be the president of the United State. And if i fail, I’ll come back here to blame you.

  13. i say what i think only said

    in a meritocracy society, u are judged by how much dough u earn, what car u drive and so on. sad to say that but that is the case. exactly the same points a woman look into a guy prior to even going on a date (i got rejected because the gal realised i am not going to drive her to the cinema because i got no car). stay braced, i think u are getting depressed too and trust me, i have been through that. i was jobless for 9 months consecutively and truly felt the stress and pressure, especially when i got called up for less than 5 interviews despite sending out hundreds of resume.

    i am a local uni grad (that doesn’t mean anything anymore) and below age of 30, major in business studies. therefore, for grads who think they are king of the world, minimum 3k salary upon graduation, do think again. the constant complaints online about being replaced by foreigners is very real.

  14. So true. My life is to ruins and finding time to feed from hand to mouth while people knowing me of my situation is tapping on my bad situation. Will they say, Tim you are not in a good situation, come let me help you out. In fact they will say, I cannot pay you leh, can do this for me and that ?

  15. CONSULTANT said

    a facebook account can be set up to placed ads
    ( need to think out of the box )

  16. John said

    Okay this one is totally bullshit. This person is whining because he chose to be a real estate agent even though he sucks at it. Nobody owes you your living. Most people hold honest office jobs. If you want to be self-employed, don’t cry when you’re not up to it.

    • Sinkaypoh said

      And ppl who hold “honest office jobs” oso better not cry when they get retrenched at 40? or dun get promoted?

      • Boggled said

        Office job does not mean guarantee will get retrenched at 40 lah… some people can work past retirement and still be valued by the employer.
        Neither does self-employed mean the person is looking for an easy way out to be his own boss and can only cry about not being handed success on a silver platter.
        By the way office jobs are not necessarily “honest”. They are technically the best places to skive or engage in power mongering..

        It is surprising how some among our fellow citizens would be so quick to adopt that “more enterprising/competent/hardworking than thou” attitude against others who are facing difficulties in making a living. Just because one is doing better than another does not give one the right to belittle or condemn.

  17. You still believe in religion?

  18. NaBey said

    I think if you post in hokkien would be much comprehend.

  19. sniper said

    does this means we serve NS for nothing when FT come in steal our jobs and render us not marragable ?

  20. Samuel said

    Singapuraboi, as a real estate agent myself, I can identify with the difficulties that you face with having a low capital base where the expenditure of every dollar is an agonizing decision.

    There was a recent article where the author calculated that the median agent’s average earning is around 1500 per month. This do not take into account the heavy expenses that comes with the job. About 50% of agents earn below this amount.

    Real estate is not a bed of roses as many make it out to be.

    From the article, it seems that your capital is running out soon and a decision needs to be made. Either leave the industry or continue to soldier on.

    Please bear in mind this. The real estate industry will always be there and we need to build sufficient capital to buffer us through the ups and downs.

    All the best to you.

  21. siao said

    i think you are too concerned with what people think of you. thats a problem that you have to overcome.

  22. Duckdoo said

    Some book I read some time back said something like this…You need to be responsible for the things that are within your control. Act on those things, change if necessary. You need to let go of things that are outside of your control zone. There is nothing you can do about them, and no matter what you do, you still can’t do anything about them (one of them is what people think/say about you). It’s all about How you react to challenges when they come.

  23. scammer said

    Don’t give a s**t what other people say. Asians tend to be unneccessarily worried and concerned over what other people think of them, which only shows their own insecurities and low level of confidence in themselves.
    Why bother what other people think, you just mind your own business and they make some silly insensitive comment, don’t be afriad to tick them off in return. Sacarsm always works and I was born with a glib and sacarstic tongue for this idiotic self-proclimed “social police”.
    Just do what you think is right morally & legally because you run your own life and the rest of the “kaypohs” can eat their own s**t for all I care.

  24. Naivety said

    The heartless PAP government is the only damned government in the world which insists on sabotaging & marginalizing its own citizens. This nonsense has to stop. I was interviewed for a banking position (3 rounds) with the final round conducted by a foreigner (from a certain South Asian country) but was eventually not selected I wonder if he had hired his own kind instead? Also, I have a friend who’s working in a major foreign bank here, and he is being ostracized by his boss & other colleagues from the same South Asian country (my friend is also the only Singaporean in his department).

    And the heartless PAP government is assuring us of a “Singaporeans First” policy when all around us we are seeing something totally different? For the sake of all true-blue Singaporeans & our future generations, this rubbish Pro-foreigner Policy has to go, or else the heartless PAP government which implemented this policy & still relentlessly insists on continuing with it has to go!

    There are at least ten (10) reasons why Singapore is the best place to work in for foreign workers & FTs as a result of this policy (see link below):

    A Native Singapore Citizen

  25. ACK said

    As a Singaporean guy in the late 30s and still single – i share your bitter feelings and we are in the same mud of obstacles. Life just have to go on …

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