THE TEMASEK TIMES

News and views from an unique perspective

Joke of the day: Two men and a lady stranded on an island

Posted by temasektimes on October 15, 2012

Two Italian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
– The two fought and one KILLED the other to have the lady.

Two American men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
– They both had the lady TOGETHER.

Two French men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
– They killed the lady to have EACH OTHER.

Two Indonesian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
– The first man claimed that island is independent and took the lady as his advisor.
– The second man swam to another island to search for jobs.

Two Thai men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
– The first man rented the lady to the second man for 2 baht a night.

Two Filipino men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
– The first man kidnapped the lady and asked for ransom from the other man.

Two Malaysian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
– The lady ACCUSED the first man of sodomizing the other because she was rejected by both.

Two Singaporean men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
– The two men are still waiting for instructions from the GOVERNMENT on how to proceed.

*The above was first posted as a comment on The Temasek Times.

34 Responses to “Joke of the day: Two men and a lady stranded on an island”

  1. spotlessleopard said

    and when the PM. of Singapore was asked for his comments…He replied: “Let me check with my husband”

  2. I Also Sama Sama said

    Two Singaporean men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
    – The first man took a pic of the other man hugging the lady and post it on stomp.

    • island of LKY and son said

      I will do the same as the first man if the lady looks like Ho Jinx or SawPH

      In fact, the joke can be 2 MIW and a lady stranded on an island.
      Both men will wank and blow each other and continue to do so even when instructions from LKY and son arrives.

  3. Singapuraboi said

    LOL

  4. Mike Zeng said

    A better and more realistic scenario in Singapore nowsaday-

    One, a top civil servant offered to approve the purchase of her company’s expensive IT products if she would only fellate him.
    The other, an academic prof offered her A grades for her Master’s degree if she would sleep with him.

    NB: back in the 60s when I was in SU, there were rampant rumors of sexy female undergrads sleeping with their expat profs for good exam grades.

  5. junde said

    Ohh may gad… this is hilarious. … SG men waiting for instructions… maybe next they call the cop … Because the lady went inside the men’s CR in the island … hehe lolz….

  6. aminsky said

    singapore man still waiting for instructions from the GOVERNMENT o
    n how to proceed?. time lambat go first later can talk ..!

  7. Be the change that you want or suffer the policies of the government and quit complaining. said

    Because singaporean’s on the whole (lot) are totally incapable of making sensible decisions. They simply believe in what the government is doing is right and just and that we should be grateful. I see other nations wake up to overthrowing rubbish governments and their policies but Singapore will always be the same even when shit is thrown on them, they still say “we should be grateful” – no wonder other countries are calling us “dogs”, woman are calling singaporean man “useless” and so forth. Hopeless.

  8. Lim said

    The govt will set up a COI costing $10 million to investigate why 2 men ended with woman on island. Then they ask all 3 to pay taxes, pay rent for use of island and then set up ERP to prevent road congestion on the island. Then of course they must contribute to CPF supposedly to make sure they don’t burden the govt when old, money which of course they can never touch till they die. Then the govt will bring in foreigners because the fertility rate is too low with only one woman.

  9. sing said

    Stupid copy cat Singaporeans. Can’t even make up you own jokes and have to steal from others:

    http://www.jokes.com/funny-men-women/cv3ddp/the-deserted-island

    The caricature of the French (instead of Greeks, as in the original) is completely stupid only reflects on the ignorance of Singaporeans.

    No wonder the lot of you have to be replaced by foreigners.

  10. Redwan said

    NOT BAD. THIS IS CALLED CONSULTATION!!!

  11. aloysius12 said

    TT you are “great”. Whatever are your intent, it so amusing – a prescription to release stress.

  12. Realist said

    Two Singapore men are still waiting instructions from the government…..
    Needless to say, those two men are from WP…..ha ha ha……

    • realistic assignment said

      needless to say the two men from WP are waiting for the govt to assign you to give oral to them as well as the lady to initiate some shafting…..
      and I am sure you will be realistic enough to offer your ass for target practice…

  13. NaBey said

    Hello TT, u better watch out !!!! Later the govt sue u for discrimination !!!

  14. KekSim A Lang said

    Singapore union will say “hope they will work out peacefully” case closed!

  15. dragon said

    Two Singaporean men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
    – The two men are still waiting for instructions from the GOVERNMENT on how to proceed.
    The answer is Gov ask his father.

  16. Why is this here?

  17. Julie Ong said

    Two Singaporean men and a lady stranded on a desert island…….both men ran away! Later, after being rescued they were heard complaining that they can’t get local women because of the foreigners. Come on fellas, be gentlemanly, make the move!

    The worst you’ll get is that she’ll tell you ‘boh eng’ (not free). Never take ‘no’ for an answer though. Don’t leave until you get her name and telephone number (discretion or common sense, please).

    • Realist said

      If you’re who you really are a female then you probably have flooded your name and phone number in the social scene.

      • Julie Ong said

        Hello, Realist.

        I think that you’ve missed my point. All I’m saying is that men should take the initiative. Haven’t you heard the saying Faint Hearts Never Win Fair Ladies! A dose of reality: as you choose others they also choose you!

        This romance/love thing can be rather complex. We have to work it out ourselves.

    • Julie Ong said

      Realist, I forgot. You crack a good one. If I flood my name and phone number on the ‘social scene’ what will that make me? ‘Lau Havoc’ (old havoc)? I’m in my sixties as I’ve already mentioned before. But, believe me still ‘Lau Swee, Lau Swee’. Anyway, it’s all in good fun……a diversion from criticising the goverment and their policies.

  18. politicallyincorrect said

    Two Thai men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
    there were actually 3 guys stranded on the island.

  19. Ashwin said

    Lol wimps

  20. Ben said

    Hmm …Two man one lady ? Previouly from CNB big brother and civil defense big brother ? I don’t think they wait for instruction🙂 own time own target carry on please ! ! These few month enough man n lady story from govrt body + teachers

    • benedict v said

      If the 2 men were the ex CNB director and SCDF chief, I am sure they will make a pact and say something like this, “you don’t report me and I won’t report you, we toss a coin to see who go first, and if there is an investigation after this, we collaborate our story and blame the girl “…….what do u think ?

  21. DIY said

    Two Indonesian men and a lady stranded on a desert island;
    – The first man claimed that island is independent and took the lady as his advisor.
    – The second man swam to another island to search for jobs.
    ——————————————————————————————————————————————————
    Jokes aside, I visited World Facts & Figures and found that Indonesia owns 17,500 islands. If the second man had swam and island hopping to look for a job that can last for 1 year then he have to live 17,500 years to fulfil his career. If he dies at age 50 and relives again his reincarnation would be 350 times over. An impossible dream, isn’t it?

    On reflection, a businessman, who shuttles into Batam Industrial Park, ever mentioned that he paid Rp 800,000 for a driver. At end wits he discovered that the driver take home pay was only Rp 300,000. The rest of the money was paid to middlemen. You can imagine that 17,000 broker exist in Indonesia where kickbacks and coffee money is the norm. No wonder corruption is their culture.

    • another joke said

      @DIY,
      Your second paragraph alone tells TT readers you think exactly like a PAP stooge. No wonder assholes like you and the PAP can never connect with ordinary sporeans.

      Let me give any twist to the joke.
      DIY and another PAP stooge were stranded on an island with a lady.
      Both men spent days and nights debating what to do, trying to impress each other with data and more data. The lady in exasperation finally told both men to go fuck themselves. Guess what,? They actually did !

      The lady again out of exasperation decided to take her chances and swam out to sea. Not long after she had a change of heart and headed back for the island. But guess what ? The 2 assholes were still at it !

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: